February 09, 2009

the SwimMom Question

Would you like to know the one area of my marriage that struggles above all others? Well more then likely it would have to be the issue of personal space.

From the time I was young I have had issues with people entering my space. My mom will tell you that I have been this way from birth. Hollering until I was put down and left alone. I have often thought that the use of a bubble that restricted contact within so many feet would be an awesome invention.

On Saturday, after I finished my bike ride for the week, the kids asked to go swimming. Since all of them can swim on their own, and after a 40 mile bike ride I did not want to swim, I decided to do a little writing while they swam. At the pool we swim at, and I work at, there are two long cement benches. They span the entire length of the lap pool so they are 25 yards long each. As I sat down, the kids ran and jumped into the pool, and I went to work writing. Looking up now and then and making sure every one was accountable for.

After about 10 minutes a man came up and asked if someone was sitting next to me. I looked up and shook my head no and went back to writing. However, soon after he sat down my skin began to crawl. My arms began to itch and I started getting very irritated.

You see the benches were not crowded. There was maybe 15 people total on both benches. There were plenty of places to sit; he did not have to sit right next to ME. My writing mojo was killed. I grabbed a book and tried to read. Again I was too distracted and irritated to read.

After taking several breaths in an attempt to calm down I started to laugh at myself. You may think that my behavior is restricted to strangers that sit to close but you would be wrong. I am not a huggy person, I am not a touchy person, and I am not the type of person that enjoys either. In fact not only do I not enjoy it, it makes my skin crawl, my arms itch and the hairs on my head vibrate.

However, I am married to what I term, “a touchy, feely, give me a hug person.” I can not tell you how many times I have dodged hugs from my husband. I hear the collective gasp. I hear you thinking what a mean wife. I’m sure Dr. Laura has a whole lecture memorized and ready to go for wives like me.

It doesn’t matter how much I would like to change. The fact remains I am a personal space person. I am a, do not pass this line person. Hugs will give me the creepy crawlies and touching makes me want to take 5 steps back.

I’m a weirdo I get it. Which makes this weeks, the SwimMom question, are you a touchy, feely person or a personal space person? Are you different then your spouse? How do you deal with that difference?


4kidsandcrazy said...

I'm definitely was a cuddly person until I discovered that in my hubby's world that meant it led to one thing. I'm no longer a cuddly person unless its my children and only for so long.

Heather Bowles said...

I would say I am only cuddle at certain times. If I am just in one of those moods fine, but I would say over all not very cuddly. I love hugs from the kids and some times I will let them lean on me while watching TV but I do get annoyed sometimes do to this. You no some times I just want to go to sleep. DONT TOUCH.

Race Fam said...

I have no choice but to be a touchy feely person, since I married Brad! I do love hugs from him and family but I never like to hug other people I get very uncomfortable and make sure my body doesn't touch theirs!

Emily said...

I'm a touchy person with Sean and Heidi. We all love to give family hugs and cuddle together. I don't like being around touchy people that I don't know very well though. That's a little creepy!
I'll try to remember not to give you a hug next time I see you. :)

Me, Myself and I said...

I'm not a touchy person, and I second what 4Kids said.

Emily said...

Why did the guy have to sit right next to you? I hate that. BACK OFF BUD! I'm a personal space person but not quite as hard core as you are. Expect for when my kids are hanging on me and I would love for them to love me from about 10 feet away.