October 01, 2009

Drop and Give Me Twenty

Only three more soccer games and the fall season will be over. As I told everyone at the beginning of the season, my brother moved to Texas leaving me holding the coaches whistle.

This experience has taught me quite a lot about boys and I want to share with you a few things I have learned about 10/11 year old boys.

#1. They no longer can hear a mom voice. Yelling at them is pointless because they can not hear me. Somewhere along the line they have learned, loud, yelling, mom, voice tune it out. Therefore, when yelling one must drop the decibel of your voice making it sound like a yelling dad. You can also stand by a dad and have him yell. Dad yelling means everyone listens.

#2. Do not say please. "Please get that ball." "Please run faster." "Thank you for throwing that in." Pointless! Completely pointless I might as well go home.

#3. "Get that ball NOW!" " Smith if you don't run faster we will do sprints all next practice!" "This isn't a tea party throw the ball in NOW!" Much more effective. As long as you have lowered the decibel of your voice making it sound like you may pound them into the ground.

#4. I have inherited the, "Greenwald, did I ask for your opinion, no I didn't so shut up" look. I had no idea that I had inherited this particular look. It was the look that my dad gave us that had all us kids quaking in our boots. Not to mention had us shutting up and not expressing our opinions.

I have now been told by more then one parent that I'm not very nice to them at the games.

Huh, I'm not.

Tough!

Guess that look can come in a little handy now and then.

#5. They are at the age where they act tough but their not. So one has to turn the other way as a few stray tears fall. Don't notice the tears don't caudal. No matter what do not act like a mom. Lower your voice a few decibels and tell the whole team to drop and give me twenty. When they whine make them do forty!

No comments: